The old Proverb that “Change is the only constant” is obviously a truism for many things in life. As a matter of fact, it is extremely difficult to survive in this day and age unless you possess the willingness to change and adapt to an ever-evolving world of activities, events and realities. Nevertheless, many people resist change because, as psychologists note, it so often represents a parting with the past, a loss of control and ultimately a sense of discomfort, disruption or disassociation.

Nevertheless, the world continues to change in dramatic fashion calling for a departure from familiar, and often comfortable, practices of the past. For a current-event, real-world example, consider how much differently economists are approaching fiscal policy following last autumns near meltdown and its ongoing aftershocks. Presto, government intervention is in vogue! Or, consider how the conversation has changed over the course of the past year following the ridiculous spike in the price of gasoline. Suddenly, gas guzzlers are out and fuel alternatives and economizing are all the rage!

Yes, yes change is a part of life and, as human behavioral literature suggests, the willingness to change and adapt are more relevant today as necessary human qualities than ever before. Change, as it turns out…is all the rage!

However, before we all make the leap of faith that all change is good, let's step back and consider that proposition for just a moment because sometimes the thinking that brings on the change is flawed.  In fact, some changes are unnecessary and just plain silly; others, on the other hand, can prove to be detrimental. The silliness occurs when change is promoted – oftentimes for no other reason than for the mere sake of change. Unfortunately, we’ve all experienced situations where the logic of the contemplated change is lost on the entire civilized world…except, that is, to the person advancing the change. This kind of change, while inconvenient and disruptive, is most frequently benign.  Less benign however are those changes that collide head-on with deeply held values and that ultimately serve to strip away or minimize some meaningful practice or tradition. It is this second type of change that most concerns me.

Statistics now show that cremation is preferred by about 35% of all Americans, a sweeping departure from the traditions of just 20 years ago. This has brought with it some profound changes in funeral rituals and a parallel increase in unconventional methods of final disposition. These days we read too often about cremated remains being scattered in backyards, on golf courses, in sports stadiums, in the ocean or, yes…even shot into outer space – all in the name of personalization and uniqueness. While these new practices are indeed unique, they tend to minimize or even neglect what is also a legitimate part of all of this: the tradition of memorialization. Erecting memorials is, after all, a deeply held belief in most of the civilized world and most certainly in this country.

Look, I understand the desire for personalization and uniqueness. Everyone wants to feel unique and at the time of death when emotions are on overload, surviving family members often want some unique, uncommon send-off for their loved one. But call me old-fashioned if I still believe that memorializing is relevant to our human condition. The permanent placement of a memorial, dedicated to the deceased with name, dates, pictures or whatever else...is so personal, so individually significant, that it simply bears a direct relationship to the human need to remember and to be remembered. There are just certain natural principles that are woven into the fabric of every civilized society throughout history. Memorializing and remembering those whom we have loved or respected is one of those principles. As individual survivors, we need permanent memorials, that one special place that serves as the focal point for our grief, our memories and ultimately our healing. As a society, we need to preserve our heritage – linking our present with past and future generations. Cemeteries, as protected and perpetually cared-for preserves, serve that purpose and most provide a wide variety of incredibly personalized memorial options that sustain that human instinct to remember a unique life.