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ARLINGTON AFTERCARE SERVICES
"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die."
Ecclesiastes 3:1,2
Because we understand the unsettled nature, and often the devastating impact, created whenever the death of a loved-one occurs, Arlington provides ongoing bereavement services to help and assisit survivors through what is inevitably a transitional period of life.
We know that most people are unprepared for what follows the death of a beloved: the onslaught of a wide set of emotions. We also understand that the process we know as grief is never the same for any two people. However, there are some commonly recognized strategies that may serve to mitigate the pain.
Survivors must grieve in their own way. No one can tell another, or define for another, the way to grieve. There is no normal time span for healing to take place; you begin to heal when you begin to heal, not on some pre-fabricated schedule. Surviviors also need to accept their emotions - and there are many. Initially, shock is the prevalent emotion but it is followed by other emotions such as: denial; panic; resentment; guilt; depression; and, physical distress. Depending upon the survivor, any, all, or none (rarely) of these may be a part of the grieving process.
In order to manage your grief more wisely, there are some actions, or activities, that you can engage in to help yourself. However, the operative word is engage.
Express Your Feelings - You need to express your feelings. Therapists and clinicians advise that denying emotions only serves to prolong the agony of the loss and stifle the grieving process. Another grief managment tool is the willingness to allow others to share in the grief process. You may share with adult family members or friends, or even children. Sometimes, we try to hide our pain from others, particualarly children. When you choose that path, you only intensify your feelings of loneliness and, sometimes, in the case of children, you perhaps stifle their ability to accept the new reality brought about by the death.
Share The Grief Process - If possible, all family members should participate in planning funeral arrangements. The presence of a casket at the funeral service, a final resting place and permanent memorialization of the beloved helps to make the experience more real. The public funeral gives the communnity an opportunity to offer strength of friendship and support - and to share their grief. In addition, any other activity that helps you share your feelings is a step in the right direction.
Help/Self-Help Groups - Sometimes, you may resist seeking help from professionals because of the stigma attached in doing so. You may think that seeking outside help is only for the weak or the "insane." But, to the contrary, seeking help from the outside is a sign of a certain strength of character - the strength to admit and understand that there are times in life when we must turn to others for help. Turning to Help or Self-Help Groups when grieving certainly falls under the heading of "sane."
Here at Arlington - We can only encourage you to express your feelings; doing so is largely up to the individual. However, we can help in sharing the grief (Remembrance Services) and with self-help groups (Bereavement Programs).
Remembrance Services
2010 Services: June 20th; September 19th; December 19th
For the past 20 years Arlington has provided a unique service for surviving family and friends of a beloved. We call these our Remembrance Services.
These services take place every year in June, September and December and are opportunities for survivors to join collectively with others of the Arlington community to publicly remember, honor and pay respect to our beloved. The services are presided over by local clergy who provide inspirational Christian and Biblical messages. Music, provided by local musicians, church choirs and family hymns are also a part of these services. All surviving family and friends are openly invited to our Remembrance Services whether the loss of a beloved is recent or one that is more distant.
Bereavement Program
Current Series: July 7th, 14th, 21st, and 28th
Next Series: September 1st, 8th, 15th and 22nd
A relatively new service provided by Arlington is our Bereavement Program, an assistance program in a group setting. Our goal is to provide some form of assistance periodically throughout the year and sometimes the setting will be formatted as single, stand-alone, non-participatory informational workshops where the group facilitator discusses the grieving process in general terms and provides tips on expectations, pitfalls, well-being and self-care. At other times, the format may be a more participatory, sequentially-based series of seminars which provides not only information, but also the opportunity for survivors to connect and share with one another. Regardless of the format, our facilitator, Barbara Steffens, PhD, and Arlington’s leaders strive to help survivors through a very difficult period in life. Please take a few minutes to scroll through the information provided above. Our next Bereavement Program is planned for the first four Thursdays in September (9/1; 9/8; 9/15; 9/22) in our Community Room from 4:30 PM until approximately 5:30. This will be a series-based seminar with information from each meeting complimenting and building upon the previous week’s information. There is a nominal charge of $5.00 (for the entire series) and you may register by calling Arlington’s main line at (513) 521-7003 and asking for Joanne Martin or by emailing her at joanne@amgardens.org. Payment is by check or credit card. Space is limited.
Week-by week topics and focus of discussion:
Week 1 - "Is This Normal?"
•We will cover typical responses to a loss & how best to take care of yourself.
Week 2 - "How Long Will This Take?"
•We will cover the journey of mourning, when others don't know how to help.
Week 3 - "Why!!! I Don't Understand"
•We will cover the hard questions and discuss living with inadequate answers.
Week 4 - "How Do I Go On?"
•We will cover the process of re-entering life, reaching out to others.
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